Exotic Indian Wedding

Many Indian parents are reluctant to do the "rehearsal". First, they have attended many Hindu 

ceremonies or may have conducted their own son's or daughter’s wedding and feels that they 

know all the steps. Secondly, the day before the wedding is very hectic and it is difficult to find 

two hours for the rehearsal. Third, some object thinking that the rehearsal may be actual 

ceremony and are not comfortable with it.

The Arya Samaj wedding is short, simple and the rites are few. The Vedic mantras chanted

during the process are explained to the couple, in their own language. The Arya Samaj wedding 

is centered around fire worship and no other deities. I conduct the ceremony in Sanskrit and 

English, do full pooja of key deities, do all the key Vedic rituals, follow traditional family 

customs and involve many family members and invited guests.

In Hindu Samskars, there are no specified fees for any of the services. The hosts give appropriate 

“Guru Dakshina” based on the services provided and consistent with the overall scope of the 

function. However, at minimum, do provide  travel expenses,  accommodations and food to the 

Pandit.

Most of the ceremony will be in English. However, I do ask the bride and the groom to repeat 

certain Sanskrit Shlokas and sentences during the ceremony. We will rehearse those and I will 

explain beforehand what these mean. I can also provide written transliteration ahead of time if 

requested. The parents of the bride will also do Kannyadaan in Sanskrit. I will also ask the 

invited guests to bless the couple in Sanskrit. Repeating Sanskrit words as told by the priest, will 

bring authenticity to the ceremony.

The Hindu marriage ceremony is very symbolic as well as full of meaningful rituals. As you go

thru the various steps; following messages become apparent for a successful marriage.

Commitment: The bride and the groom commit to each other, to their families, to the God and to 

the society.

Compatibility: Presumably, this is well thought of prior to the ceremony but is reemphasized in 

the ceremony as well.

Complimentary Relationship: The groom describes their complimentary relationship as a part of 

going around the fire.

Communication, Free and Open: The bride and groom express their expectation from married 

life and support from each other.

Almost all the brides and grooms want a short Indian ceremony! They have seen many 

ceremonies lasting 2-3 hours and would like a shorter but meaningful version of the ceremony.

By consolidating the most important steps of the ceremony, eliminating unnecessary procedures 

and a good pre planning, time for the ceremony is about an hour. See detail answer in the next 

question.

Some couples did request me to reduce the time even further down to 30 minutes. I do not think I 

can impart the meaning and the significance of each step to the couple in such a short time!

Most of the Hindu weddings are held on Saturdays, with the festivities starting as early as 

Thursday. Thursday evening is normally dedicated to an informal get together of family and out 

of town friends and Mehendi. The bride’s and Groom’s family do pre wedding religious 

ceremonies on Friday mornings. The Pandit and all participants should go thru all the logistics 

and the various steps of the ceremony on Friday afternoon, preferably at the wedding venue. This 

may be followed by Sangeet, Raas-Garba or the rehearsal dinner. The Saturday afternoon is the 

big event, either a single Hindu ceremony or a second Christian or Jewish ceremony. This is 

followed by the reception. The hosts typically arrange a send off luncheon on Sunday mornings.

There is no formal dress code for this. Many people will be wearing Indian clothes, and others

will be wearing "nice-casual" - meaning no faded jeans or dirty T-shirts. However jeans, kurthis 

will be appropriate.

If you are planning on getting henna, it is a good idea to avoid white-colored clothing as it can 

stain your clothes and will not come out (even with bleach)! Plan on henna staying on for a 

minimum of 3 hours for it to stain the skin and leave a mark that will last a couple of weeks.

The mandap is typically set on a stage. The stage should be at east 16 ft long, 12 ft wide and 2 ft

high. The mandap itself should be open for better viewing the marriage rituals by the invited 

guests. A four pillared mandap should be at least 12 by 12 ft; even then, some guests may not see 

all the rituals because of obstructions caused by the pillars.

Preferred Guest Sitting is in front, in two sections, with a middle path for arrival/departures for 

the bride and groom. Ideally, the mandap should be facing east. However, we need to be realistic 

and take into account other considerations as well. 

Some people had planned central location for mandap with guests sitting all around on four 

sides. Logistically and technically, this does not work.

There should be reserved seats for the immediate family and for bride's maids and groom's men.

The Pandit should have a clip on microphone. There should be a separate standup microphone 

available for any other participants or for other announcements.

The groom and the bride should choose appropriate music for following steps: 

Celebratory, enthusiastic Music during Groom's welcome

Specific Music during Arrival of the bride of her choice

Congratulatory and celebratory music after formal announcement as Husband and Wife

Soft music background music, e.g. Shehanai, throughout the ceremony.

The volume can be increased at appropriate times.